xxlarku

Went on my first date last weekend. It was anti-climatic, albeit fun.

Made a straight jacket. Left it at set crew today. I've been leaving things everywhere lately... It's making me worried.

Youmacon tomorrow~ Going with Kacey, cosplaying as Machika. I've worked and earned +$90 in the past two weeks, and I'm still unemployed.

Excited for Halloween, working on costume. got a light blue wig; I'm thinking about going as Rei to Youmacon, if I go. Loaded with homework for the next few weeks.

I hate autumn.

I've had a headache lately, but it's not from sinuses or dehydrawtion, so I have no idea. tension, maybe?

So, my hunch was right. He did like me, and he asked me to go to homecoming with him~ My parents are skeptical, having never met him, but my moms just happy that we get to go out dress shopping and my dads just a generally angry person. ^^''

School has evened out. It turns out that, despite the massive amount of work at the beginning of the year, that all but one class is extremely easy. Which, while reliving, makes me a little sad.

Inspiration has struck me like a hammer, and left me unconscious. It's wonderful, except I'm unconscious and can't do much creatively.

Write out the names of your characters and explain
1) how you thought of their name
2) what made you create the character in the first place
3) how the character has changed over time (if they have changed)
4) any random fun fact about that character

Dey
1. In one of my languages, Deycaxx is the direct, letter-for-letter translation for my name. I found Deycaxx to be lame, so I shortened it to Dey.
2. He was an alter-ego character of mine for a long time, until we both kinda went our own ways.
3. At frse, Dey was a female, and then a cold grated mercenary with severe amnesia, and now hes a stoic, aloof bad ass with a soft side and also hates cats with an intense, burning passion.
4. Larku convinced him to bleach his hair for a while with the intent that he would dye it a different color; he finds unnaturally colored hair very attractive.

Reiji
1. I needed a name for a character in a private roleplay that I did on Neo, and this one was given to me and used.
2. She was originally a heartless character for a bad KH Fanfic roleplay.
3. Well, for a long time Rei was technically a guy, and pure evil, and eventually she became a phychotic mass murderer with such a pathetic mental state that she became very lovable. Also, the most recent change was in starting to refer to Rei as a girl.
4. She doesn't know how to swim.

Tavin
1. I think I heard it in a movie at one point, and it just stuck.
2. He's a LARP character, made up o nthe spot.
3. Not really. he's only been alive for a week or so.
4. He loves candy~

He gives me a hug every day, compliments my hair and clothes regularly, walks me to classes. over im, he started conversing by saying "hello, beautiful", but i cannot tell if that was being serious or starting a conversation.

But I really like him and I really want him to like me back. <3

School was as expected: good teachers, with one supreme ass; no friends in classes, and one firend at lunch.

I'm goign to use this as moer of a personal journal now that ive started up a person al blog here. http://larku-maori.blogspot.com/

Last night was the Panic at the Disco/Fall Out Boy/Blink-182 concert. Considering that I didn't like the main band, there were numerous technical difficulties, and Panic didn't play my favorite song, it was actually a really good concert. The apparel was kind of suck-ish, because the bulk of their stuff was Blink-182, but they had some good shirts nonetheless. Panic played better, IMHO, then they did on most of the live videos of them that I've seen. This is considering that they can't have a synthesizer or a full band on stage with them. They id good still. Fall out Boy was drunk out of their minds, and then a curtain fell on them as they were starting their opening song, but to their credit, they never stopped playing. That's just what they get for not headlining. Blink did excellent. I, personally, do not like their music (too much drum), but they were excellent stage performers and were very entertaining.

Also, there was a man dressed up in a banana suit at the concert, which made my week. It made me want to go to Youmacon as the peanut-butter-jelly-time banana, but I'll probably just go as Machika.

OMFG IMMORTAL RAIN 9 CAME OUT THE OTHER DAY IN JAPAN. I've found some sacanlations, but I can't seems to open them, damn Win-Mac non-compatibility. But, I've heard wonderful things about it, as well as the horrible news that TokyoPop is no longer publishing it. I'm very tempted to but a Japanese version of it and work my ass of translating it. ALSO an Immortal Rain artbook~ All of that wonderful art of my darling Yuca-kun~ The art book is something that I WILL get. Period. It's an art book. Who cares what the writing says?

I really don't know what this entry is for. I just felt like writing an entry, since I'm tired of packing, so here I am, writing an entry. I think I"ll vent ideas here, just for the sake of remebering them in the future.

The Island should probably get a new name, seeing as it no longer actually takes place on an island. I have decided that, while kick-ass, the CALR Island isn't a good setting. A good summer home, yes. Creepy as shit, yes. But not a good place to set a story. So I'm leaning towards California, Florida, or Michigan. The Asylum ends up in Michigan, so CAR end up in Michigan anyways for a while, so probably not there. I"ll mull it over some more, see what I think. I really want to re-draw what I had done of The Island, because I thought it was a pretty kick-ass beginning and I really want to work on another comic this year. The island might be it, because PHD is too technically demanding and everything else I have has characters and setting, but no story.

The closer school gets to starting, the more terrified I get. It somehow seems worse then usual, because there's two more weeks until it starts and I'm already working myself sick for it.

For the first time EVER, I'm watching the Star Wars movies.

I'm just... Wow. It all makes sense, now. I finally get all of those jokes that people would make. I haven't gotten to the wookies and Luke and Leia and all of that, but... Just, wow. I have decided that Darth Vader is my character-idol. All evil characters should be like him. I mean, he's twisted, good-meaning, powerful, and most of all, sexy. ((I have horrible taste in men, I know.)) But, I don't get why Anikin had that weird side-rat tail like Obi Wan did. Is it a Padawan thing? Fwah, I'll have to look it up.

I think that, between reading Dune and watching Star Wars/Star Trek, I'm finally a real nerd. It's such a proud moment, knowing that you have your own society totally apart from the masses that has, in its own way, has its own masses.

It's been really weird, having Kevin home all day, every day. He just does not shut up. He's been nicer to me, but he's taking out all of his fury on my mom, which in turn makes them hit on each other. There's been some real 'WTF' moments. How can giggling and teasing go to 'YOU BROKE MY THUMB, YOU BASTARD' in moments? It's been... Interesting. I think my parents are getting along, finally.

It's the opening of the Ren Fest today, and I'm really sad. Everyone went and didn't invite me. Really, it's fine, I'll just get Sarah, Cassie and Julia together and we can all go and make stupidity together when I get home. Everyone who went without me is getting what they deserve, though: it's rainy and below 60; as far as any Michigander is concerned, that is horrible weather for anything but a football game.

I'm not excited about going to Hawaii. It's honestly not that exciting. Hopefully it'll be better then expected, seeing as we're goign to a different island and all.

I have so much homework to do, it's not even funny. ;;-;; I'm going to go get to work on it.

I've decided that, while my to-do list is not finished, I have done more than enough from it and I'm taking a break from it, excluding finish homework and enter a contest on deviantArt. This being that homework is, sadly, not optional, and that I've already started a contest entry.

Anyways, there hasn't been a lot to report lately. I've been bored, a little sad. All of my friends left for Marching Band Camp yesterday, and it pains me that I'm not going to be in Marching Band this year, but I couldn't imagine what my schedule would be like if I had taken band; I'm taking some pretty intense classes. I had to check online because I'll be on vacation at the time schedules are handed out/pictures are taken/lockers assigned, but check my insanely insane schedule was all I could do for now. Ah, well, such is the trials of an upperclassman. Although, I don't think this year will feel that much different. I've been an honorary member of the class of 2009 since I was a freshman. now that they've all graduated, though, I might actually tolerate the people in my own class. At school this year, I plan on joining a lot of clubs and such. I want to help with stage crew, join Interact Club, make the Writer's Club into sometihng worthwhile. I also want to take more art classes at the FIA as well as continue private lessons at the FIM; I'm in the Youth Wind Ensemble at FIM, too, so I'd be spending a lot of time down there anyways.

I'm thinking of getting my hair cut, asymmetrical again, like it was when I first cut it short. Of all of the haircuts that I've had in the last two years, that and my pixie cut were my favorite. I want to try and get it cut before Hawaii, but I might not be able too. I"ll have to call and see if Monica has anything available too. I should see if she'll dye my hair, too, because I want to dye it too, sometihng funky.

Last night, my family and I were watching a movie, and for the first time ever, my cat voluntarily sat on someone's lap. We were all really proud of her, even if she didn't stay for but five minutes. My grandpa is down right now, and I'm supposed to be entertaining, but he's taking a nap so there's not a whole lot that I can do.

To Do:
Finish Homework
Start comic
Finish Comic
Watercolor
Acrylic
Weave
Sew more wrist cuffs
Sell wrist cuffs
Upload Traditional Art to dA
Do chores
Go to Library; get library card
Go antiquing
Finish sewing projects
Decide on a cosplay
Read Dante's Divine Comedy
Read every classic book I can get a hold of
finish up last pages in sketchbooks
Finish beginning of PHD
Talk to someone on the phone
Make dinner unaided
Find an Asian supermarket in my area
Start exercising
Have a sleepover
Finish cross-stitch
Set up fish tank
Buy fish
Give up pop
Give up junkfood
Make a lot of smoothies
Drink more Tea
Work on life drawing
Enter a contest on dA
Place in a contest on dA
Finish off To Read/Watch/Listen to:

To Read:
1/2 Prince
Skip Beat
Paradise Kiss
Nana
Oraun Highschool Host Club
Chobits
Ultimo
Princess Princess
Beauty Pop


To Watch:
Star Trek
Across the Universe
Rocky Horror Picture Show
ROD
Princess Bride
Azumanga Daioh
The Dissapearance of Haruhi Suzimiya
Wolf's Rain
Witch Hunter Robin

Listen To:
Nightwish (old singer)
We The Kings
Jem
Jack's Mannequin
The Unicorns
Holiday Parade
Metro Station
Imogen Heap (more)

Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance comes out today in Japan! I don't have a lot of interest in seeing it, because the whole Evangelion movie series is pretty much the TV show... In movie form. But I'll give it a look up on youtube in August, because it makes its English debut on july 31 in Germany; there's no doubt that it'll have made its way onto the interwebs by then. The live action movie, which the director says he's sealing the deal on this summer/fall, would be pretty kick-ass, though. I will se that, no matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes. I just hope they make it into a trilogy, and not shove plus ten hours of material into less than three. Doing that ruins a good thing, like Inkheart. The movie ruined the whole series for me.

There's so many movies I want to see! My parents are on a movie-strike Evidently, its okay to take a luxury trip to Hawaii, but its not okay to to the movies once a week. Nope. Uh-uh. Up, Transformers, Year One, Night at the Museum, and a bunch that are coming out soon, like Harry Potter, are all on my list, but I won't get to see them. It's probably been a month since I've seen a movie- Star Trek or Terminator, before school ended. Ugh. I the being movie-deprived.

Roleplaying/Aia's art has gotten me into the mood to draw GC characters, so I drew all of the main's (Rei, Sky, Kitty, Dey, Mika ) in a little chibi scenario. I might finish it, but I probablly won't. I still have Mononoke fan art and that Tori/Luka picture. I'm kind of saving my artistic energy for camp, because that's where I'll need it.

This little cat showed up on my deck this morning! It's so adorable. Its orange and white with spots and striped and pretty orange eyes. It has scratches on its nose, so it's met the neighborhood stray. I've named him Oliver, because he's orange, just like Oliver form Oliver and Company. He's really friendly, you can tell that he was someones pet. I sat down on a deck chair and he just jumped on my lap and started purring. He was so cute, in that I'm-so-ugly-I'm-cute way. Our new neighbors hve a blanket and food for him under their table outside, and we have food and water for him under the bench on our porch, but we really do think that he's someones pet. I hope he's not, because it'd be a shame to have to give him back.

I'm getting my hair cut today, tomorrow is my road test, Monday I'm going again to play DnD, and on Tuesday I leave for camp for two weeks.

p r e f a c e


Snow drifted lazily from the dimming sky, gradually covering the frozen forest in a thin sheet of white. A few birds fluttered between the trees, pecking at the muddy ground one last time before returning to their nests for the night. Along the ocean, where there were few clouds and even less snow, the sun was setting in a brilliant swirl of pinks and oranges. The crisp, salty-sweet smell of the ocean was beginning to leave the beach and nearby forest as the sea breeze turned onto itself; sending the almost tropical feel back to the sea.

In a nearby town, parents gathered their children from their friends and families houses and returned to their own abodes. Colorful strings of lights adorned a great majority of the houses, and even a few of the businesses; from the windows, you could see magnificent evergreen trees, adorned with garland, ornaments of more variety then a mind can fathom, and yet more strings of colorful lights. Stockings were hung on walls, or, if a house had one, they were hung over the fire place. Even the houses a half mile away from the central part of town were still festive with holiday spirit, even if they didn’t partake in the social activities that the others did.

All of them save one. It looked no different then any other house, large, two stories, and decorated in holiday cheer inside and out. A mother and her young child occupied the house, and it was only the absence of the father that dampened the atmosphere.

The two were sitting in the living room, curled up on the couch under a blanket. The television was on, and the young girl, no older then three, was contently snuggling up to her mother, watching the Christmas cartoon. Her mother was almost asleep, but was promptly awoken when the phone rang.

“Daddy!” The little girl squealed, jumping off of her mother and grabbing the cordless phone, jabbing the talk button. “Hello?!”

“Hello… Is Chiyo there…?” a male voice on the other end of the line said, his words slightly slurred.

The young girl stomped over to her mother, thrusting the phone in her face. Chiyo took the phone, and the little girl sulked away.

“Yes?”

“Your husband will be home tomorrow.” The man informed her, blatantly.

Chiyo just sat there on the couch for a moment, confused. “How do you know…?” There was no reply, and Chiyo listened to the background noise on the other end of the phone line.

“What are you doing?” Someone said; it was near impossible to tell who it was, but they sounded familiar to Chiyo.

“Talking.” The man who had been on the phone replied, giggling a little.

“I told you just to dial the phone!”

“So?”

“Give it to me.” There was a small rustling noise on the other end, “Hello, Chiyo?”

“Honey, is that you?” Chiyo asked, instantly recognizing her husband’s voice.

“Yes. Sorry about him, he’s given me a hard time all day…” He sighed, and then added, “I’ll explain when I get back... Has anything new happened?”

Smiling, Chiyo responded, “Nothing. Kyoko really misses you. Why can’t you explain now?”

“This line is bugged. I don’t want anyone else finding out.” He replied, quietly. There was a moment of silence between the two, before the little girl returned to the room.

“I wanna talk to daddy!” She exclaimed, grabbing the phone from her mother. Chiyo glared at her in that motherly ‘don’t-do-that-again’ way, but said nothing. “Hi daddy! If you don’t come home soon, I won’t go on walks with you anymore!” Kyoko said cheerfully.

The little girls father laughed, and said, “Oh really? I guess I’ll have to come home tomorrow then, wont I?”

“No, come home tonight!” Kyoko demanded.

There was a moment of hesitation before he replied, “Fair enough.”

Kyoko yawned, “I’m tired.”

“If you go to bed now, maybe when I get home Santa will have come...”

“Good night, daddy!” Kyoko exclaimed, thrusting the phone at her mother again and barely waiting to run off to her bedroom.

The couple was silent for a moment, and then Chiyo finally said, “I’d better go put her to sleep…”

“Yeah…” Her husband replied, sounding a little distant.

“One last thing before I go, though…”

“Hmm?”

“…Be careful.” Chiyo said her voice barely a whisper.

“I will, don’t worry so much…. Good night, Chiyo.” He said, equally as quiet.

With that single phone call, the feeling of despair that had hung in the atmosphere all but smothered the cheer. Only Kyoko, who was still much to young to understand any of this, went to bed with a light heart that snowy Christmas Eve...


{ c h i y o }


I'm not quite sure how any of this started. A violent chain of hate and death and abuse of such a variety it makes my head hurt. I'd be nice, if just for a little while, the world would be quiet and listen to me for once, but no. It can’t. It has to be silent for all but me. I pity the imbecile that calls me insane because I have not achieved silence, because I do not share their state of mind. The fool that calls me an idiot. I will kill them. I will kill them all. My mind has reached places no other can reach, that no other living being can fathom. I may never achieve silence, but I can reach sagacity.

Running a finger over the old yellowed pages of the journal, I wasn't sure what to think. Whoever wrote in it, wrote in it seldom enough that none of it was connected, and just to make it worse, there were no dates. The handwriting was clear, neat, written in pen; the spelling and grammar impeccable. The journal itself was old, older than I, and just a simple college-ruled spiral-bound notebook you could find at near any dollar store.

Before I could begin to determine whose journal it was, there was a knock on the door. "Come in."

The door opened, and my co-worker stood in the doorway. I still didn't know his name, which was a strange feeling, even though we rarely talked anyways. I would eventually have to find out; i had time. I've only been working here for around a week.

"Your shift. They should be wearing off soon, so watch yourself." He said. A fair warning, although I didn't understand why it was needed.

Nodding, I stood up and walked over to the doorway, bringing the journal with me. My co-worker stepped aside to let me through the doorway.

"Where'd you get that journal?"

"The dollar store." I replied, wanting to go. He kind of creeped me out, although he was kind of cute.

"I'm not dumb. You found that in here, didn't you?" I said nothing. "Careful. Once you read it all and figure out whose it is, it changes your life."

Shuddering, I kept walking down the dim and desolate hallway. I wasn't sure what he had meant, but now I really wanted to read the journal, and once I reached my destination, I did.

The room we took shifts in was plain, with a desk on the far wall and a cabinet with assorted drugs and toxins in it were the only things of note in the whole room, beside a small table, a chair, and a sink under the cupboard. The door next to the desk was reinforced steel, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what lie on the other side.

Settling into the chair, I turned on the lamp on the desk and started reading the journal again.

Today sucked. I hate them all. So close, yet so far away they all feel, and not a one will confront me. No one will come close to me. I wonder what its like to live in silence? Do they wonder what its like to live in noise? If they do wonder, they don't ask. Or pretend to care. So I'm refusing to take medication now, and mom got mad at me. I told her that if she won’t try to under stand me, I wont try to understand her. She got mad, and then called my dad. And he yelled at me, I don’t really remember what for. And then they all laughed at me. Maybe it’s good that they don’t hear the noise, because if they could, I would be stuck in my room for a lot longer.

My birthday. I never knew what I would be like without anyone here. The world, it’s so quiet. I guess it's my world now, if I'm the only one left. I feel like ending my world again- it’s just not worth living with no one here. I can’t believe I'm actually saying this, but I miss my family. I can’t believe I'm still writing in this thing. It’s not like someone’s going to read it later in life. And if they do, and I'm still alive, I'll amputate them in a slow, painful way that only my wonderfully twisted mind could conceive.

I thought I heard something, and instinctively looked towards the steel door, but no other sound occurred, so I deemed the first my imagination. Then I thought about the journal, and wondered if who wrote this was still alive. Then I pondered about the meaning of "silence" and "noise". However, I quickly gave up on that and took a nap.



I awoke in total, suffocatingly complete darkness to the sound of fighting, the kind of fight that people died in. It didn't take me long to realize that I was the one caught in the middle of it. The second thing I noticed is that the reinforced steel door had been taken off of its hinges, which wasn’t a good sign.
Instinctively, I reached for the desk, hoping I could take cover under it, but it wasn’t there. I didn’t bother looking for it in the darkness. Fear controlled my every move, and I soon found myself curled up in a ball in the corner, listening to the chaos.

Most of it was a fist fight with maybe three guys, but I couldn’t see anything, so I didn’t know who was who. The steel door lie next to me, and soon after I had moved over to the corner, the chair I had been on was thrown at someone.

Then the guns came out. I thought I was going to die, as bullets missed their targets and ricocheted off of the walls, many of them almost hit me. With every few gunshots, I would scream. It wasn’t until about halfway through the gun section when I realized the guys were screaming at each other.

“Leave me alone!” One yelled, and another round of bullets was fired.

“Hold him down!” A second said, and there was a loud thud. How I hated the dark right now! If I was to witness this fight, at least let me see the fight.

“Get off!” Someone landed on the steel door next to me; I vaguely recognized him as my co-worker. His face was bloody, his hair matted and stained red with blood. To terrified I would be shot, I didn’t move to help him, and closed my eyes.

More guns, more fighting. I’m not sure how much longer it lasted, but I was physically shaking when the lights finally flickered back on.

“Hey, are you okay?” Someone asked, and then rested their hand lightly on my shoulder. I flinched away, my eyes still shut tight. “It’s okay now. It’s all over.” He said softly, then stood up and took his hand off of my shoulder.

After a moment, after determining it safe, I opened my eyes. It was my co-worker on the door; he looked alive, if only just barely. Whoever had their hand on my shoulder had left for the time being. The other person who I had heard in the fight was not there.

Then I noticed the room that the reinforced door had led to had the lights on. Unable to help myself, I leaned foreword and looked around the corner. All it seemed to be was a hallway, but that didn’t make any sense. Why hire someone to help guard a hallway? Closing my eyes again, I tried not to think of what just happened. It was easier said then done, however. Time passed by, I didn’t move. I didn’t want to, though, so I guess it was okay.

Someone came back from the hallway, and put my co-worker up against the wall, out of the way. I kept my gaze on the floor, and didn’t look at either of them.

“You okay?” The guy from earlier asked.

I didn’t look at him still, but managed to say, “Well, I’m alive.” And I glanced at my co-worker, doubting now that he was alive.

“We’re all alive. Cale’s just sleeping.” He said, gesturing to my co-worker.

Cale. I’ll have to remember his name. “What happened?”

“Well….. There are three or four different answers to that. “

“I’ll take the shortest one.”

“Our prisoner escaped and was going to kill you, so your co-worker and I intervened.” He said, sitting down next to me.

I nodded, content with that answer, and said nothing. Nether of us said nothing for a while, until he broke the silence.

“So, what’s your name?” He asked.

“Chiyo. Yours?” I felt no shame in telling the stranger who saved my life my name. I would tell him anything; I owed him my life.

“Chiyo….. A beautiful name.” I felt the blush spread across my cheeks. “My name is--” He started to say, but stopped short. At first I couldn’t figure out why, then I looked at him, probablly for the first time.

A knife was sticking out of his neck; his head was leaning forward, limp.


{ c h i y o }


I'm not sure when I woke up again, or when I passed out. I remebered everything in sickeningly clean detail- Cale, my co-worker, blood smeared on his face as he lay on the steel door, dying. The screams, the guns, the blood. And the look on that mans face when the knife had been stuck through his neck; oddly calm, as if expecting the knife to come out of nowhere. It was all very, very wrong.

Disturbed again by the mental images coming to mind, I leaned to my left a little and fell out of the chair I had fell asleep in, during my shift, before the fight. Looking around, frantic, I soon discovered nothing was wrong. The door was back, the lights were on, the desk and chair were in tack.

The only thing missing was that old journal. Frantic again, I looked through the drawers of the desk, but only found an old soda can and a broken pencil.

"Looking for something?" I jumped, spinning around and knocking over the chair. Cale laughed, and I laughed too, nervously. He had come in silently, and was leaning against the wall across from me.

"That journal.... Its gone." I said, seeing no reason to lie. I was more baffled by my co-workers near instant recovery than the disappearance of a journal.

"Hmm. It does like to disappear." He glanced at the steel door, "Don't worry, It'll show up eventually."

There was an awkward silence for a moment, as Cale watched me fidget. finally, I blurted out, "What happened earlier?!"

"What....?"

"With the fight! The door was broken and there was this guy who was stabbed and you were dead and I--" I said, on the verge of hyperventilating.

"What?" Cale said, laughing. "You need real sleep. Go on. It's my shift anyways."

I glanced at the door, then the steel door opposite of it. I wasn't shocked he was laughing at me. "What..... what are we trying to keep in that room....?" I asked, quietly, hesitant.

Cale looked down, avoiding looking at me. "It's..... Best if you dont know right now."

I nodded, half understanding. He probably thinks I'm crazy, but the fight from earlier (was I really just dreaming?) seemed real enough that I didn't want to know.

without another word to each other, I left the room and Cale closed the door behind me. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized my co-worker had been standing in the exact same place as he was in my supposed dream. I'm not sure why, but it bothered me. It bothered be way more than it should have...


{ c a l e }


Shortly after Chiyo left, I broke down the reinforced door again and went to see what the hell all of this was about. He said he had all of this under control, then something bad happens, and I end up getting things in control. Damn. It reminds me why I dont trust humans.

It was a short walk down the narrow, white hallway to another room; this one larger, but equally as white. There was some expensive medical equipment, a bookshelf with some rather drab books (I cant read, so any book is boring), a desk which was bolted to the floor, and some high=up cabinets with various, most likely illegal, substances on them. I looked at it all before walking into the room.

No one was there. "Dumb-ass? Where are you?"

After a short time, Kain dropped out of the ceiling, right behind me. "Don't call me dumb-ass--"

"Fine. I'll call you amput--" I started to say, happily. I would never get tired of this. But Kain gave me the I'll-tear-your-head-off-again look, so I stopped, and smiled politely at him, and continued what I was here for.

"What the hell was that all about earlier?"

Kain hesitated. "There was a breach in security, and I was not available at the time of the crisis."

Someone else was here, at the facility, and he had to see to them. "Fair enough. Why were you not available?"

"Do you want me to anwser that?" His voice teemed with sarcasm, I laughed, although I knew the reason was no laughable matter to either of us. There was only one reason anyone came here.

There was silence for a moment before Kain went over to the desk, sat down, and pulled a laptop from one of its drawers. I just watched, quietly, thinking of what to do.

"If Thomas is back, then we have to....." My voice trailed. Kain glanced back at me as if I were retarded, then went back to the laptop. "Any ideas on how to get rid of him? Its not worth the trouble to move again, 'sides him, we're safe here."

"Will you shut up now? I have it covered." Kain snapped.

"Just like you had guarding here covered? You could at least seen if it was me on guard or not." I snapped back.

Kain said nothing for a minute, which surprised me. ""It's wearing off... We'll need to re-dose him. He's almost immune now."

"..." I just stared at him for a minute, trying to decide if there was a hidden meaning behind that. "...Oh, right. where is he now?"

He didn't anwser right away. I wasn't sure whether to be scared or happy. "... In his room." Somehow, his anwser made me a little scared, even though I knew exactly what he was talking about.

A long silence went between us. I finally got bored and moved any dangerous equipment around the room. Also, miraculously, Kain didn't get mad at me when I rearranged the 'medicines'. Finally, bored again, I went and stood by the door.

"Soooo....." I said, thinking of some vague question. "How long do you plan not to say anything?"

"Explain." Kain shut down the laptop. I said nothing. "I'm serious. Enlighten me."

I laughed; I couldn't help it. did he think I was dumb or something? Did he forget that I can literally smell these things? Did he forget I was conscious after the fight?

Suddenly, Kain realized what I meant and spun around in the chair (the chair swivels? since when?), glaring death at me. He seemed pissed by the fact I had noticed. I suppressed the laughter as best as I could, and backed out of the room and started walking back down the hallway.

I thought seriously about showing Chiyo Kain's little hideaway, just to piss him off a little more.


{ c h i y o }


As we walked down the winding, white halls together, I frequently asked where we were going. The only anwser Cale ever gave me was "I want to show you something." Sometimes he didn't even anwser me at all, and it honestly freaked me out.

Even though I had firmly established it as 'only a dream', that dream was still haunting my mind. How they all died, right there, right in front of me. I was sure that if the dream would've continued, I would have died, too.

I didn't even bother paying attention to where he was taking me until he stopped in front of the reinforced steel door. I tensed; Cale glanced at me, but said nothing, and effortlessly picked the lock of the steel door. I probably should've asked how he got the door open, but I didn't, and followed my co-worker quietly down the hallway.

Honestly, I didn't want to know what was down here. It was a white hallway, just like the other hallways, but it had an unexplainable eerie feel to it that I just didn't like. The feeling lifted when the door we came to was just a plain wooden door- no more steel. Why do they have a steel door there, but not here?

Cale let himself in. I followed, quiet and hesitant, but never really left the doorway. What I saw was not what I was expecting; it was closer to a doctors office then the torture chamber.

"What the hell are you doing back here?" Someone snapped; I jumped. It took me a while to recognise the voice and that one guys from the nightmare.

Hesitantly, I took a step into the room, looking at him. Same chin-length light brown hair, same ice-blue eyes (but this time they weren't glazed over, as if dead), different demeanor. As nice as he had seemed before, he couldn't seem more pissed now. He was glaring at Cale as if it would kill him. Cale was smiling at him, his expression unreadable to me.

"Chiyo, this is Kain. Kain, Chiyo." Cale said. Kain looked shocked to see me, as if he thought I were dead or something. He didn't even know me before! I nodded, slightly insulted but I tried not to show it.

"Anyways...." Cale said, Kain seemed to return to reality. "I just thought I'd show Chiyo where the hallway lead, so shes not so scared of it anymore."

Kain sighed, and swung the chair around so he had its back to us. "Right. After that.... Nice to meet you, Chiyo." he blatantly avoided eye contact with both me and Cale; I wasn't sure what to make of that.

I nodded politely, having thought of nothing to say. There was an awkward silence fr a moment as I eyed the potentially dangerous equipment and the cabinet. Cale just stood there; Kain watched the floor. Somehow, I got the notion that Kain and Cale weren't on good terms.

"Is that all you wanted?" Kain asked, finally breaking the silence. "Cause if it is.... you can go now."

"No. I wanted to have a word with you." Cale said, then turned to me. "Chiyo, you can go now." I nodded, and turned to leave the room. Cale shut the door behind me, and I stayed to eavesdrop.

There was a silence before either of then said anything. "I was right."

"Y'know Cale? You're pretty dumb. She coulda died--" Kain hissed.

"And you would be her killer. I know. I've heard it before. But you will end up killing her, just like you killed..." Cale's voice trailed off. I went stiff with fear.

"You're right. You win. I will be her end, and that's why I'm staying away."

There was another long silence. I got the feeling that I was missing something, but I was yet again sure that I didn't want to know.

The next thing I heard was a rapid succession of gunshots through the wooden door, and I suddenly found myself in the middle of yet another fight.


{ k a i n }


How dare Cale think he knew how I felt! Next thing, he would probably be trying to read my mind! blindly, I pulled out my gun and started shooting at him Most of the bullets when through him anyways, but I knew for a fact he still felt pain. Then, suddenly, it was Chiyo I was shooting at. Not sure how she got into the room, I immediately ceased fire. Cale threw himself at me, taking Chiyo (who had latched onto his leg) with him.

She screamed, he screamed, I ran; Cale still managed to grab my good arm, and I dropped on my face, mid-run.

While Cale tried ripping my arm off, Chiyo concerned herself with separating him from me. I helped her, because I liked my arm. She yanked at his head, jerking his chin up and digging her long nails into his neck. I positioned myself so my boot was on Cale's hand and stomped on it.

Cale still won. He jerked my leg to the side, and I screamed as my leg snapped at the hip. Not wasting time, he forced Chiyo's hands out of his neck and threw her against the wall, rendering her unconscious.

Effortlessly, cale stood up, towering menacingly over me. I wanted to get up and shoot him. "Give up yet?' He asked quietly. I tried to get up, but pain flared up my leg and a wave of nausea hit me; I fell down almost immediately and didn't get back up. He just laughed. "I win."

More nausea hit me, and the room was starting to spin very fast. Taking one last stab at my pride, Cale stomped on my shin, breaking it in half. I screamed again; he laughed again, and left the room, shutting and locking the door.

It was right about then I remember someone (either Chiyo or a paramedic)was looming over me, but the room was spinning dangerously fast. For a brief moment I forgot who she was, then blacked out.


{ K a i n }


Healing went unimaginably slow. Nothing really hurt after a few days, which made it even more boring. I was lightheaded for a week from loss of blood. Apparently, when my leg was brutally snapped in half, the artery tore and I lost a lot of blood. I thought the doctors were dumb; I cant die from blood loss. Someone (Cale, most likely) did rip off my arm, so I was missing it again. It baffled the doctors how I could live like I do with one arm. It baffles me how they got their degree with half of a brain.

A nurse came in, watching me curiously. I glared at her, and she quickly went on to reading the various beeping machines that never left the room. I wished they would, though. Besides being unnecessary, the beeping gave me a headache.

Then there was the food. They practically threatened me with it, which I think is funny, cause I'm not eating it; I'd rather starve. Its moving, and probably alive. Sighing, I turned my head to the side, looking at the open door. The nurse had left already, and the EKG machine was getting past the point of annoying. If I could, I would shoot it, but my gun was probably still at 'work' and Cale wasn't quite dumb enough to show up in a hospital with a gun.

"So, Kain. Still not eating?" The doctor said, walking casually into the room. I glared at him, but he didn't care. "You'll eat it eventually. Although it does generally taste better when its not cold."

I said nothing. I hated this doctor. Hate.

He looked at some papers on his clipboard, then at the damned EKG machine. "Everything else seems to be fine. hows your leg feel?"

"It feels like its broken." I mumbled. He gave me a puzzled look, but I didn't elaborate.

"Really..." He glanced at the clipboard. I was beginning to hate the clipboard. "We can't put you on more painkillers..."

"I'll live." I glanced at my missing arm. I'd have to get even with Cale for breaking it off. The doctor seemed to understand what I meant, and left the room without any more conversation. I gave a sigh of relief, shockingly happy to be alone again.

Seconds, minutes, then hours ticked by. I reminded myself why I did not like hospitals while staring at the blindingly white ceiling. I couldn't move. Moving hurt very badly, and there was nowhere to move to, anyways.

More time passed. The room gradually grew colder, or else I was delusional or something. My stomach protested to not eating, but the food next to me was just as repulsive as it had been before, so I still didn't eat it. Occasionally, my mind wandered. I thought of the fight, and wondered if Chiyo was alive. Cale wouldn't kill her. I would be her killer.

Somehow, the thought was funny, that I killed anyone who I got close to. And that Cale would tear his family limb from limb, showing no mercy, but the chances of him hurting an outsider were little to none.

Made content by some bizarre mood swing, I drifted off into a restless, dreamless sleep.


{ C a l e }


My cell phone was ringing, for whatever bizarre reason. Reluctantly, I pulled it out of my pocket and answered. “Yeah, what?”

“Get down here. We have a problem.” It was Gunthar.

“Deal with it. I’m busy.” I replied, evenly. Sitting around and going through somebody else’s stuff always qualified me as busy.

He said nothing for a moment. “…Fine. I’ll call Tom.”

I grit my teeth. Whatever this was, I was confident Thomas couldn’t handle it. “I’ll be at the hospital in five.” I snapped the phone shut, almost breaking it. I couldn’t imagine how trouble could find Kain in a hospital, but it obviously had.

Gunthar greeted me in the ICU with a grim look on his face. I half suspected someone had just died, and then decided that he just wasn’t happy to see me.

“What’s wrong now?” I asked, not wanting to be here for long.

“Well, a lot’s wrong. Where should I start?” I gave Gunthar a cold stare. He continued. “Basically, he’s sick. Not eating, not drinking, and now there’s a fever.”

I yawned. “And is that why I’m here….?” He nodded. “Are you asking me what to do?” He looked down, and nodded again. I laughed; it was always funny when doctors asked me what to do.

“Medicine won’t work. You’re just wasting it and slowing down healing by giving it to him.” I paused, not sure if he would grasp that concept. “He won’t drink water. Don’t ask him why, don’t ask me why.”

“What about the fever?”

“Any infections?” Gunthar said nothing, I laughed. “He’s not that much of a freak.”

“If medicine won’t work…”

“Figure it out. You’re the doctor.” I paused, then added “Or did you cheat your way through med school?”

Gunthar glared at me. I smirked.

We didn’t have to wait long before a flustered nurse rounded the corner, looking for him. He made eye contact with me somehow, and as he walked away, I felt somehow obliged to follow.


{ K a i n }


The next thing I remember was white. For a moment, I forgot where I was, and jerked my head to the side, looking for any kind of color. I found it; the baby blue wall next to me. But I also discovered a searing pain in my neck.

Minutes ticked by quickly, and everything went out of focus. It was really cold in the room now, or else I was still delusional. I didn't even know hospital rooms got this cold. After the pain in my neck didn't subside, I reached and touched where it hurt, at the side. It was wet.

Curious, I looked at my hand. It was red; it was blood. I vaguely remebered getting stabbed i the neck, and smiled at the memory. It was funny, how I let him stab me. Why did I let him stab me?

The room started to spin again, and I felt sick. Why did spinning things make me sick? That train of thought didn't last long before I blacked out again.


{ R e i }


They left me alone. It never crossed my mind why- but I was alone, and my diminished world has just gotten a little bigger. Without my brother here to guard me, I was free.

It only took a few second to break all remaining restraints, and wander into the shadowy hallways. The lights were off, but it didn’t matter to me. It was just nice to get out of that box, away from the eternal, infernal noise.

I hadn’t gotten far before somebody else’s footsteps echoed throughout the hallway, messing up my own footsteps echoes.

Stop. Go back; they’ll hurt you.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

You know they will. Everyone’s out to hurt you; even your family…

Go away, shut up. Go away, shut up. Go away, shut up.

We can’t leave you. We are you.

“Shut up!” I screamed, and my voice echoed throughout the hallway. When the sound had stopped, all was quiet.

Made frantic by the sudden, impenetrable silence, I ran blindly down the hallway. They laughed at me as I ran, I just ran, knowing that I would inevitably run into something and be forced to stop.

It wasn’t wrong before I ran into something- sooner than expected.



{ C h i y o }


As I was walking down the hallway, I wasn't that surprised about being body slammed into a wall. I was more scared of who it was. With Cale disappearing every few weeks and Kain still in the hospital, I was getting used to being alone. but I never thought someone else was here. Now, I realized there had to be.

The prisoner- that's what I had come to know him as. I didn't know him, or why he was here, I just know he was to stay here. I didn't know what to do when he was escaping, though.

Instinctively, I grabbed his shoulder as he got up; and was shocked (but relieved) when he didn't fight back. Carefully, hesitantly, I stood up. He didn't move.

I said nothing for a moment, looking down at him. He looked like a prisoner- long, dirty black hair, no shirt. his back was covered in cuts and bruises. I winced, and wondered what they did to him.

"Its okay. I'm not going to hurt you." I said quietly. He looked up at me through his bangs, panic stricken. For a moment, I wasn't sure if he had understood me; then he stood up, slowly.

He turned to face me, hesitant. He looked scared, like a little kid who had lost their mom in a mall. Suddenly, he reached out and brushed his hand against the my cheek. I stood still, trying not to flinch.

"Your pretty." He finally said, crossing his arms. "He would like you."

"T-thank you....?' I said, not sure what else to say.

"What's your name?"

I hesitated. "Chiyo..."

"Chiyo! I like that name. It's a pretty name." ?He said, giggling.

I smiled at him. The prisoner looked no older then me, maybe twenty, but he was acting like a little kid. Suddenly, I felt safer. "What's you name?"

No anwser. His face went blank, and he lowered his head so his bangs covered his eyes.

"Do you not have a name?"

Still no anwser. I decided to try a different question.

"Do you want something to eat?" He perked up a little, and I took that as a yes. "Com'on, then. Lets get something to eat. " I grabbed his wrist and walked down the hallway towards the seldom used break room. He followed, obediently.

There wasn't much good to eat in the rec room, but the prisoner seemed happy to just sit on the couch and nibble on some club crackers. He didn't say much, and I didn't say much, and just watched him.

He seemed familiar, with one electric blue eye and one eye that had no color at all- I assumed he was blind in that eye. He was skittish; whenever I moved, he jumped and almost threw whatever he was eating at me. Finally, i realized why he hadn't fought me. He wouldn't have been able to- he looked starved, and someone definitely beat him on a regular basis. I couldn't imagine him inflicting pain on himself.

Finally, iIbroke the silence and said to him, "I have to go call someone..." I couldn't continue my sentence, he looked that scared. "...Fine. I'll call them in here." He went on mibbling on the last of the remaining crackers.

Quickly, I dialed the phone. I didn't want to call him, but i didn't know what else to do.

"What?" cale answered the phone.

"H-hello, Cale...."

"What is it, Chiyo?" He said with a sigh.

I glanced at the prisoner, and said quietly into the phone, "Cale,the prisoner escaped..."

"IIs he going to hurt you?"

"N-no..." I said, trying to imagine him with a weapon. It didn't work.

"Then you're fine. Just don't make him mad."

"B-but...! The prisoner looked at me, alarmed at my sudden change in voice. "...Fine. Tell me his name, at least." I said.

"Later, maybe. He'll anwser to anything, though." Then cale hung up. I stared at the phone for a second, then hung up.

I sighed. I was on my own for this. "Ready to tell me your name yet?" He shook his head no, and I let out a deep sigh. “Is there anything you don’t want me to call you?”

He nodded this time. “Lee, Lynn, Kain, Tom, Rei, Craig… “I looked at him, thinking, half surprised he had told me.

“Anyone else, then?” I asked.

He thought for a second, and then shook his head no and finished the last of the crackers.

I offered him some more food, but he declined. I made myself a cup of coffee, and wasn’t surprised at all when he moved to the counter and watched the coffee pot. Every time some of it dripped through the filter and into the pot, he quietly said ‘drip’.

A little while later, he stopped suddenly. I had been thinking about other things, and didn’t notice at first, until the coffee pot stopped dripping. He was still there, going through the near empty cupboards now, but the coffee pot wasn’t.

“Hey. Where’d the coffee go?” I asked. He shrugged, not looking at me. I stood up, walking over to the counter; the coffee pot was nowhere in sight. “Come on, tell me., I wont get mad. " No response.

Sighing, I sat back on the couch; eventually drifting back into thought. After a few seconds, I nodded off to sleep.


{ R e i }


I dont get why she thought I took the dripping pot. It smelled good- I didn't want it to leave, either; but it had disappeared.

Its your fault. It hated you. They all hated you.

I ignored it this time, and went back to finding spoons in the cupboards. After a few moments, Chi mumbled something to herself- curious, I sat on the arm of the couch and listened.

"N.... no...."

Does she hear them too? Probablly not. Was it worth asking? Probablly not. Should I have asked? Probablly not.

"Hey. Chi." I said quietly; she woke with a start.

"W-wha....?" She was dazed.

Dont ask. She wont understand.

"Do you hear the noise?"


{ c h i y o }


One month later…

Around every corner shadows with bloody hands and faceless heads danced, taunting me in broad daylight. Left with enough sense to know nothing was actually there, I walked down the street, trying not to act abnormal. Twice I swear I saw one of them, waiting in the alleyway to bleed me dry, but it was nothing. I wondered how long I could keep this up without breaking down again, but the result of that wasn’t pretty; the thought was quickly disbanded.

Even walking through the hospital doors, I felt uneasy. Lots of security- way too much security- just like every other public government building in the world. If my life weren’t depending on it, I wouldn’t even be here.

But I had to. Only Kain knew what I needed to know.

“May I help you?” The receptionist asked politely, smiling.

Nervously, I smiled back. “Um, Yes, I’m here to see someone…” Handing her a small slip of paper, I eyed the security cameras. I could under stand why they had them here, at the desk, by the entrance to the back emergency, reserved and private rooms. It was just a pain in a situation like this, where no one can know anyone’s name.

“”Identification, please?” She asked, I handed her my driver’s license. She glanced it over, typing something in. I continued to eye the cameras. “Thank you, you can go in now.”

With a whirr, the sliding door of reinforced glass slid open. I took the paper and my license and quickly walked through the door, looking at the ground.
If there was one thing I had learned about hospitals, it’s that you don’t make eye contact with anyone. Doctors don’t usually mind visitors, but patients do. They’ll watch people, envying them, wallowing in self pity. Disgusting, worthless people. I thought bitterly, keeping her eyes on the floor.

The doctor, Doctor Southwood the paper said he was, who greeted me in the hallway was handsome, indeed- too handsome, maybe; the kind girls would’ve fought over in high school. Despite this, I instinctively didn’t like him. He looked like Cale in an odd way, and yet they didn’t look alike at all. After a minute, I decided it was the way he carried himself: commanding, yet laid back, with the demeanor of someone who was in charge, holding the power, and all too aware of it.

“…So, Inari-san… What, exactly are you here for?” We stopped in front of a closed door of a patient’s room- Kain’s? I didn’t know; the rooms weren’t labeled here.
“Work.” I said, quietly; he made me nervous.

“Really…” He said nothing for a moment, looking at a clipboard. “Just taking a wild guess, but you need to know his name, right?”

I was shocked. How did Southwood know? “H-how did….”

He just laughed. “I used to work there. I never figured it out, though. Kain wouldn’t tell me; he’ll probably tell you, though.” He paused for a moment, “He’d like you.” The phrase seemed familiar. “Just, whatever he tells you… Never repeat it outside of that room. Nobody else can know.”

I just stood there, drinking it all in.

Dr. Southwood looked at a paper taped on the door. “You’re free to go in. ...But, just a warning, he’s on enough painkillers to kill a normal person. Don’t expect a legit answer right away.” I stared at the door, wondering what had happened to him since coming to the hospital. I knew his arm and leg were broken in a few places, but I didn’t think it was that bad still…

He opened the door, stepping in the room “Ren, you’ve got a visitor.”

No reply.

The doctor stepped out of the room, to let me in. Hesitant, I walked inside.

I almost didn’t recognize Kain.

There were the immediate things I noticed, but expected: his hair was longer, he didn’t look like he was eating, and his right arm was, quite simply, gone. There was what I didn’t expect, like a heart monitor (EKG?), and an opaque black tube sticking out of his chest. Blue eyes seemed placid- too placid; he looked, and probably was, high off of the pain killers. There was something else wrong, but I couldn’t see it, at first...


{ R e i }


It was cold, and it was dark. Cale, my new jailer, was in the padded room with me, although I didn’t understand why. For fear of him, I was curled up in the corner, my head in my knees.

Stop that. He’s not going to hurt you.

I shuddered, keeping my eyes on the ground. It was spattered with dark red, blood; but I could only guess. It was probably mine, but I didn’t remember…

You don’t remember, do you? I closed my eyes, desperately wishing them to stop. She ran away, she didn’t under stand you. She was hurt.

“No…” I breathed. “She’s okay…” I took a second to glance up at my keeper; never had I seen him this mad. Immediately, I shut up.

You’re making him mad.

“No.” I growled, looking at the floor; Cale was mad because of Cale.

What’s your name?

“I don’t have a name….” I said, a little louder. Cale glared in my direction; I shrank into the corner.

Of course you do. You just never knew it.

“Tell me.”

Say it. Louder.

“Tell me…”

Louder!

I snapped under the pressure on my mind “Shut up!”

Cale looked at me again, this time startled, and for a split second, I thought he under stood, he heard them, too. He walked over to me, towering; an imposing figure that blocked escape, that blocked hope.

Silence.

No one, nothing moved. Finally, Cale knelt down so he was eye level with me. I was too scared to move.

More silence. I clutched my head, pulling at my hair, needing it to stop.

Finally, I snapped again, into small pieces. “Stop it! What did I do to deserve this? I can’t take it, it’s too quiet! Make it stop, make it stop…” Screaming, I finally broke down, sobbing.

Through the noise I was making, the noise I so desperately needed, Cale had wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a gentle gesture, whispering quietly “Reiji… Rei… It’s okay, it’s all okay…”

For a moment, I remembered who I was. I was Reiji Taerenn; I was locked in the asylum, being treated with schizophrenia; I wasn’t alone, I had a brother named… a brother named...

And it all fled, just as fast as it had come, as Cale stabbed a syringe into my shoulder. Slowly, I could feel my conscious mind deteriorating, and finally, I was engulfed in the awful, deadly silence.


{ C a l e }


His body was heavier than expected, but that wasn’t an issue- but getting him out of a high security government building, and then gradually out of the country, was. After all, dragging a corpse around still wasn’t normal, and Reiji was technically government property. It was hard to think of him solely as an object still, but that’s all he was anymore. A tool. With Tom around again, there wasn’t much choice besides take him back to Exile.

He stirred slightly when I threw him into the trunk, but from experience I knew he wouldn’t wake up for a few days. I had time… Not a lot of it, but I had some time. Once, twice, I realized that this was all a really bad idea. It would be a better idea with Kain backing me, but if he wasn’t back by now he wouldn’t be back for a while.

Desperately needing away from darker thoughts of both past and future, I turned on the radio. No good station at all. I didn’t even look to see if the car had any good CD’s in it; it wasn’t my car in the first place. After a while, the music got so horribly annoying that I had to turn it off, and suffer in the silence.

Suddenly, the thought occurred to me… I could go get him out of the trunk, wake him up somehow, and then it wouldn’t be quiet.

After pulling into an abandoned parking lot in downtown, where hauling around corpses was normal, I dragged him out of the trunk. Carefully, I put him in the front passenger seat, shut the door, and then got back into the car.

Pulling an iPod from the glove box, I set it to the recording that I wanted and stuck it in my friend’s ear. With a sigh, I put the key into the ignition and drove out of the parking lot.

Not even five minutes later, he began to wake up. That’s when the recovery began…


{ K a i n }


It took a lot to keep my head straight, which was only important because Chiyo was a very pretty, and sometimes even a smart girl. I wondered why she was here, talking to me, even as she explained it all to me.

“Something’s happened at work…” she watched me watch her. I grew nervous, and looked at the wall next to the hospital bed. “I need to know the prisoner’s name.”

“What’s happened? Did they hurt you?” Something bad has happened to her; otherwise she wouldn’t need to know his name. What was his name? I couldn’t remember...

Chiyo sighed, glancing at the door. “Kain, listen to me. They’ll kill me if I don’t find it out soon.” I fidgeted with my IV, careful not to pull it out again. “Are you even listening to me?”

I bit my lip. Should I tell her? Could I tell her? “Did you ask Cale?” She shook her head no. “How about Tom?” she shook her head no again. “How about Gun?”

“Who?”

“Never mind. Did you ask Cale?”

“You just asked me that.”

“…Oh. Did you ask him twice, then?” she sighed, this time sounding agitated.

There was silence for a minute, and I tried hard to lie still. It was incredibly hard. Phantom pains didn’t make the task easier.

Chiyo decided to break the silence and change the subject. “How are you feeling?”

I laughed a little, but a small part of me said that it wasn’t meant to be a funny question. “Good. Gun said that once these pain killers go away, I can go!” I replied, happily. It was then I noticed how jumpy she looked. She was trying to hide it, and doing a good job, but doing a bad job at it, too.

She cut me off as I was about to say something about it. “Wait. What happened to your leg?” She asked, quietly.

Blinking a few times, I looked at her again and replied, “Which leg?”

“…The broken one.”

“It’s gone… What else?” I laughed as I said this, and Chiyo went pale. She looked pretty close to panic. “Hey. Don’t get so worked up. It ruins your pretty face. “

Calmly, I watched her reaction. It went from anger to amusement pretty fast, and she was blushing the whole time. “Well, get out of the damn hospital, then. You’re not as cute with a tube sticking out of your chest.” She retorted, good naturedly. I laughed, not quite understanding.

It was then a nurse came in, and told Chiyo something. She sighed, and turned back to me. “I’ll see you soon, then?” I nodded.

“Wait…!” She stopped, just before leaving. “Tell… Tell Rei I’ll see him soon.” I said, quietly, as the room began fading. Something new in my IV? Probably.

Just before she left, I looked at her, making eye contact. Just behind her, I saw a faded image of someone, someone familiar, holding a syringe to her neck, laughing silently, laughing wickedly; laughing at me.

It was a scene I knew all too well, even through the quickly thickening cloud of drugs. It was the part of me that I had spent nearly a century (I shuddered inwardly at the amount of time that had passed) trying to escape… It was Reis chance for revenge.

I screamed, but nothing came out; Chiyo had left, and the danger had gone. But the faded memory of myself remained, smiling maliciously and maniacally at the present…

Then it all faded back to black, paralyzing my mind in a state of panic.


{C h i y o }


Going back was hard, as usual, but easier because I knew it was only another month until Kain came back. It probably shouldn’t have, but the thought of being alone in an asylum was oddly pleasing. Cale had, supposedly, gone on vacation, which meant I was truly alone. His car was still in the warehouse parking lot, though, and that didn’t help my morale.

The elevator cables shrieked as they lowered me from the abandoned warehouse into the asylum. Another screech as the rusted doors jarred open into an infinitely white, infinitely terrifying hallway, and I quickly stepped out before the doors snapped shut.

At first, I walked down the hall, calm, but my mind was fond of games, and soon I found myself gradually picking up speed until I was at a dead run for the break room. Twice I cut corners and ended up rolling on the ground, and another time I forgot the corner altogether and ran headlong into the wall. Finally, I burst into the blissfully empty and shockingly comforting break room.

After locking the door, I flopped down on the sofa, looking at the fridge and counters across from me. At first, there was noting, but after a moment something appeared there, something small and flat. Curious, I stood up, striding over to the counter. It was that old, beat up journal; a quick glance at the yellowed pages confirmed that- but something was new: on the front cover, there was a sticky note that simply read “with love, with caution: the threats are real” in similar handwriting that the journal was in.

Completely disregarding post-it note, I collapsed on the couch again, flipping open to the most recent page…

She’s back again. I can’t believe it, after all that’s happened to try and make her leave. Maybe the extreme is next. This is the extreme. This noise, this noise she must know about to live and die, must be told. I don’t care what she says, how she treats me, whether or not she gets me that pizza. After what Kitty did, I don’t blame her, to run and hide and find Amputee, but he’s gone, and she’s alone.

I stopped. Amputee. How did that nickname sound familiar? It all made me uneasy. After a few minutes, I gathered the courage to keep going.

…And she’s alone, sitting on the couch in her safe room…

I glanced around, and then looked at the page. There was no more, but as I stared at the page, figuring it all out, slowly, as if there was someone writing in it from a distant place, the next words appeared:

… And I’m waiting to be her end. There’s no one else. Even Kitten has left her, and without his to protect, the noise shall consume.

Frantic, I threw the journal across the room, curling into a ball. None of its true; none of its true…Hands shaking, I reached for the cell phone in my back pocket, trying hard not to burst out crying as there was a solid thud against the door. My fingers slipped and I put in the wrong number; I started over, more careful not to slip.

The phone rang once, twice, three times, four times, no answer so it went onto voice mail.

“Hey, Maro, it’s me, give me a call back as soon as you can...” My voice shook, cracking with the effort it took not to scream or cry. I called again, and left another message, and another, and another. I needed to talk to him, to know it would be okay, that whatever was out there wasn’t going to kill me. It was something only Maro could tell me.

Suddenly, there was another thud and the door cracked open, the hinges squeaking. I gave a small scream, involuntarily, as Cale walked into the room.

“Jumpy much?” He asked, laughing good naturedly. I glared daggers and put the phone away. I watched him sit on the counter, I watched him watch me, and while I wasn’t looking the door quietly clicked shut. Something about him wasn’t right.

“You found the journal again, I see.” He said, motioning to the cursed notebook on the floor, orange eyes flashing.

“Cale, I thought your eyes were green?” I asked, stupidly. He grinned, wickedly, displaying gleaming, pointed, perfectly white and symmetrical teeth that were in no way natural.

I stared, wide eyed and panicking again, too scared to move. “My name isn’t Cale.”

“T-this isn’t funny!” I exclaimed.

Brilliant orange eyes flashed. “Who said anything about a joke, dear?” He frowned now, “Oh, come now. Don’t cry. You’ll hurt my feelings.” I choked back a sob, too scared to do anything; knowing the door was locked from the outside just by looking at the deadbolt, escape was useless. “It’s no fun for either of us when you just sit there and cry, dear. I don’t plan to hurt you. And it really does hurt my feelings.”

I looked up, confused, tears dripping down my cheeks. The fear was there, just gradually being replaced by a burning curiosity. “Who are you?” I whispered, wiping my eyes. My conscious said I should trust him, but I ignored it.

“I” he slid of the counter, disappearing into the floor as if it were water, and reappearing by the door with the old notebook in hand. “I am, quite simply, your job.”

“My… My job?” I stammered. It was an amazing concept that psychopaths were walking around, casually, taking on the appearance of co-workers.

“A more adequate question might have been ‘what are you’ or ‘what do you want’.”

“What’s your name?”

“Dear girl, I don’t have a name. None of us have names. It’s the only reason why we can be out and alone, and you still can be safe.” He flashed another sharp- toothed grin, and I shuddered. Why do I get the impression he likes to tear things? But it was another amazing concept: a building full of nameless people.

“Do you know someone names Rei?” No answer. “Is that his name?” No answer. “Is that your name?”

Suddenly, he collapsed on the floor, laughing maniaclly, tearing at his haed with his fingers. “I’m not him! Stop… Stop calling me by his name! I have no name, I have never, never had a name…” He whispered, “I don’t look just like him! Stop calling me Reiji! I’m not Reiji! I’m Kaia! I’m not…”

I jumped up, pressing my back against the opposite wall as this extraordinary switch in personality occurred, once again consumed by fear. After a moment, the psychos shoulders shook, as if crying, but I soon realized that’s not what it was. He was dissolving, like sugar in water- skin became pale, almost white, and blonde hair into black. It was a strange, but thankfully not a grotesque, sight, and when it was over, I was fighting between repulsion and awe, for there was no other explanation other than magic. All that was left was a skinny teenager, no older than sixteen,

I took a hesitant step forward, and his head jerked up, revealing blank orange eyed that rolled back into his skull as his head lowered again. He was, most decidedly, uncouncious.

“So, you’re Kaia, and that was Rei.” I paused, kneeling by the uncouncious teen, who, despite an age difference of around five years, did look a shockingly lot like Rei. I smiled, sighing, somehow not afraid of him.

My cell phone rang loudly, which had somehow ended up on the couch, contradicting the silence. I stood, and listened, then burst out laughing. If only for this moment, in this brief lapse in sanity, everything was okay.


{ C a l e }


We arrived at the vacation house fast, considering it was halfway across the country. Reiji was considerably bad for conversation, especially without his medication, but I’d rather have him awake and with me then in the trunk, unconscious. “Hey. We’re here.” He made no response, leaning against the car door, staring blankly at the serene forest. I pulled into the driveway of a large house and got out of the car, digging the house key out of my back pocket. Reiji got out, looking around at the forest, and then quickly following me into the house, almost like a puppy might.

The first room you saw was the kitchen- a well decorated and expensive room- just like all of the others. It was, in many respects, the living room; the actual living room was largely unused as of right now, but I got the feeling that it wouldn’t stay like this for long. I shrugged off my jacket and threw it on the table.

“Cale?” Reiji said, quietly, still standing y the door. “Do you think he’ll mind…?”

I glanced at him, getting a soda from the fridge. “Mind what?”

“Us staying at his house, don’t you think he’ll mind?” He glanced out the screen door behind him. “I mean, this is his house. And didn’t he get out of the hospital today? He should be on sick leave, and this is the only place he has to go to.”

Pure astonishment washed over me. “For someone who lives in an asylum, you sure know a lot.” I mumbled, throwing the unopened pop can at him. Reiji caught it, and threw it back at me. “Who told you all of that?”

Reiji looked at the ground and walked outside, sitting down on the patio. I didn’t pry, and raided the kitchen for food.

A good three hours later until the sun had set and Rei came back in. He flicked the kitchen lights on, and hesitated before going upstairs. “What?” I asked, yawning.

“He’s here.” He whispered, and sulked upstairs. Once again, I didn’t under stand, but I didn’t pry. No use in making him mad. But sure enough, a car pulled into the driveway five minutes later. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know who it was, even though it was too dark so see outside.

“Hello, Kain, Garth.” I said, smiling, as they walked in- Kain on crutches. “Already got your arm back, I see.”

Kain glared. “Why are you here?”

“For the best interest of myself and your little friend, I took Rei and ran.” Garth said nothing; I had called and told him. Obviously, he had not told Kain.

“You- Wait, he’s here, too?”

“Yeah. I figured you two could use some quality time together.” Kain just stood there, open mouthed. I tried to decide if he was pissed at me, or happy with me. “At any rate, your little friend is safe. Kaia won’t hurt her...” I laughed. His expression cleared, just a little.

There was silence for a moment. “So! I’ll go look for Rei…” I stood up, walking calmly upstairs, leaving Garth to take any blame.


{ R e i }


Sitting in the corner of a largely unused bedroom, every thing seemed bizarre, out of proportion; like a caricature that wasn’t funny. The room spun slightly, making me feel slightly sick, but to me it was comforting in its consistency.

“You should’ve taken your medicine.” Cale appeared in the doorway. I just groaned, resting my head on my knees. “It really will make you feel better.”

“But then I’ll forget…” I whispered, wanting him to leave. Instinctively, I knew all Cale ever wanted was trouble.

“”Forget what?’

“Who I am, what’s wrong with me; mother, father, that stupid island… Lynn… Everything that I’ve ever known… It all leaves me, and I don’t like that.” I looked up at him, and a silence passed between us, a true silence. It seemed wrong.

“Do you hear it?” Cale asked, his voice barely a whisper, leaning against the door frame. I listened, straining my ears, and the realization came: there was nothing. Panic set in. There is never just nothing, nothing is impossible, and nothing is not allowed…

“Do you like how it feels? Of course not. You can’t stand it, can you? And yet, it’s all you ever wanted. Silence… Not so great, is it?” his words dripped with venom, seeping into my mind, scarring it, scaring it.

Burying my head in my knees again, I choked back tears. There was a loud thud, and someone started yelling at Cale.

“”What the heck are you doing?!” Was it Kain? It sounded like him, but I couldn’t look, I didn’t want to look.

“I’m teaching him that he can’t always have what he wants.” Cale said, stubbornly; it was a lie, though, I heard through it.

“You know he doesn’t know any better, Cale. Leave Reiji alone.” A third person replied; I didn’t recognize them.

“How do you know?” Cale’s voice was dripping again. There was another loud thud. “…Fine. I’ll go.”

I looked up, at Kain, who was the only person left in the room. He didn’t say anything to me for a while, and all was quiet. “Rei, do you hear that?” He asked, limping over to me, using a crutch to help walk. I noticed immediately that his right leg was gone, but didn’t say anything. Slowly, he knelt in front of me; instinctively, I flinched away, but warily looked at him when he rested his hand on my chest.

“It’s the sound of your heart beat.” I strained my ears, and heard, just barely a faint drum like beat that after a while, I felt in my chest. “No matter where you are, no matter what’s in your head it’s never truly silent.”

He patted my head, stood up, and left. I just watched him, slightly in awe. A few minutes passed in silence, and I listened, on the other side of the silence, there was my heartbeat. With this news, came a realization: I had heard that before.

Laughing, I stood up, remembering. “Mother… She said that to me… When I was little…” I didn’t think of how Kain knew that. I didn’t care why or know, or how he knew. For that moment in time, everything was okay. Content, a little nostalgic, I went downstairs to eavesdrop on the others.


{ C h i y o }


Three weeks went by fast, and soon the rainy months of spring were over. Kaia constantly pestered me to go outside, but I had no clue what was okay for him to do- I was only supposed to be a security guard. ((“Why am I the new babysitter? Isn’t that Cale’s job or something?” I said to Kaia once; he just laughed and continued counting the ceiling tiles.)) There wasn’t a whole lot to do besides explore the building, which wasn’t that great, until I figured out how to work the elevator and the lights, and even then I was afraid to go anywhere. After all, it was an asylum, and if Kaia was wandering around, others could be too…

But they weren’t. My only interesting findings in the underground building included a freezer containing hundreds of thousands of fish eggs, multiple empty padded rooms, one of which had the padding on the walls torn off and made into something like a pillow-fort, and on the lowest floor, a swimming pool with three large squid in it. I decide, towards the end of this period, tat Kaia and I were alone.

Kaia followed me like a lost puppy, but rarely mentioned anything other than going outside. He never mentioned Rei, or Kain, or Cale, or anything from that night, and because of that, I never did figure out what happed that night in the rec room. However, I was certain that I didn’t want to know, and even more certain that I was eventually going to find out.

Just then, there was a loud thud at the door; I jumped, brought back to reality. “Use the doorknob.” I said, sighing. Kaia could be forgetful sometimes- forgetting doorknobs, light switches, to plug various things in. With doors and lights, I was learning that reminding him seemed to work best. At other (rarer) times, he was just plain insane.

“It’s locked.” Came the immediate reply; at first I didn’t recognize their voice, but after a second I realized who it was

I cleaned my car today- it was oddly refreshing. And minus the coffee stains from Papa, its quite like new! Well, so in my shiny like-new car, I took my mom up to the school to recycle paper. news paper, magazines, schoolwork that I am glad to get rid of. Well, as we get back in the car, she wants to know if I want to practice parking. so I say sure, why not. so I drive to the back of the school, and practice parking. Diagonal and perpendicular parking is fine, but as soon as I have to back up into a parking spot, I do it horribly.I know this. So she tells me to try again. I do worse. So she starts ranting at me on how I need to do better, then gets even more mad for me telling her I don't know how to back in to a parking spot better. And she doesn't know how, so she cant teach me. o I told her I was done and we went back home.

My bike is all ready for going up to Mackinac! I live Mackinac. There're are no cars allowed on the island, so it's all horse and buggy or bike. <3

Painting classes start Tuesday! I'm so excited. I think I'm really goign to enjoy painting.

Yay, writing! This is what I have so far. Its not yet edited, but I thought that I'd put it here for archiving purposes. Pay it no mind. :>

( Click here if you actually do want to read it. )

Have I ever said how much I love being busy? Well, I absolutely love being busy~ Cleaning is a favorite way of keeping busy, as is traveling but crafts are good, too. I just love having things to do! Summer is so nice. I actually have time to finish things, not just start them.

Nobody's been on lately. Which is normal, I Guess, cause it's still that time of year, and most people aren't on as much as I am. Which is probably a good things; when my friends get lives, I'm more liable to get one.

The Sims 3 is amazing, and has been occupying much of my evenings. I'm slowly incorporating all of the characters I have/all of the charters that have been used in role plays with me into town! So far, there's Rei, Abel, Cain, Chiyo, Aki, Flynn, Mika, Dey, Gracie, Mirra, Edward and Neva. Its weird seeing them all interact together, because its so... Well, the first thing Edward did was scream at Dey, then at Mika, then he moves out and became a professional athlete. Cain and Abel started making out in the graveyard once Rei found them and joined in. The new Sims has a much better personality and free will system, and the whole town ages as a whole, because of the open neighborhood thing.

So, I'm supposted to be studying. Supposted to be. Ive been home since 11, and that whole time ive been 'studying'. Meaniong, ZOMG with Julia and then roleplaying with Aia. Ha! Take that, studying. you will get no more work out of me.

Anyways I realized how many of my old rolepalys were so noobish, so endearingly, adorably noobish. A good kind of noobish, a naive, otaku noob-type. But still noobish. It makes me giggle inside. Also, I've realized fully how awesome Dey was, with the revival of him in a roleplay. It's not a spin off Dey, either, with the same name and face but a different personality. Its real, honest-to-god Gray City Dey who is ashamed of his scars and proud of how dysfunctional he is. Just, wow. He's so epic.

DnD is tomorrow. I never finished my character- Dorian will have to help me finish when I get there. Levi is going to play instead of Brett, and Julia is going to see if there's room for one more, even if it is just to watch. Then on Thursday, Sandy has invited me and Julia over to her house (all the way over in Pontiac, dammit, but oh well) to play video games and be awesome. Sarah has invited me to play lazer tag with her youth group but I'm going to be on Mackinac Island that week, and it makes me sad.

My digital art phase is over. I no longer feel the need to draw digitally, which is perfect. I start painting classes next week, and that's not a digital medium. i'm applying for a job at the Ren Fest, workign at a shop. It's goign to be pretty awesome, even if I dont get the job.

I feel a little bad for not updating more. But I've been busy with life and finals and friends and family and the like. Interwebs, specifically journaling, hasn't been my biggest priority. I'm all hunky-dorie, though, so no worries.

Looking back, I've made some pretty awesome friends this year. Josh, Dorian, Justin, Valerian, Brett and Joel invited me to play Dungeons and Dragons with them, and its probably the first friend-oriented event (that's not a birthday or holiday party) that I've been invited to and not planned. It's really cool! I have an Eldorin Wizard named Elyssya who has some pretty kick ass spells. Levi will talk photo shop with me, and speak madness with me, and let me sit on him (but he's not very comfortable). Julia and Sandy tolerate my superiority very well, like I don't even act superior. Julia talks about video games with me, teaches me World of Warcraft, and is learning Dungeons and dragons with me. Sandy joined writers club, and is good, no matter how bad her spelling is. For English being er second language, she does a fine job. Danielle rants at me about everything, which is cool because she's had an interesting life; she also bounces story ideas off of me, and I bounce my ideas off of her. However, she won't join writers club, even though her book just got OK'd for publishing this week. To each their own. Sarah and Cassie I am thankful eternally for putting up with, again, my acting superior, and also my just genera mood swings. he blunt of my moods fall on them for some reasons, and I feel horrible, but I'm also thankful for them always being there. Then there's The Seniors (Megan, Ali, Ben, Nick, Cronin, Amber, Bovee), who I owe my current status of honorary senior, which was given to me after I disowned my class. I owe so much to so many people this year. I love my friends so much.

HLA final is over with. Chem tomorrow, and on Wednesday there's just History and Algebra II. I only really need to study for Wednesday. After Wednesday, it's over!

I'M SO PUMPED FOR THE SIMS 3. SRSLY. YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA.

I present in HAL tomorrow, and I'm excited for that, too, because I think that we're really prepared. It was so nice not working with Max AND Lindzy, because they just sit and talk and make me do the work by being stupid. But Jordan has some level of intelligence, and that was awesome. she understood what needed to be don't was not, and could not be, what we wanted to do, while Linzdy thinks that as long as something looks cool you get a good grade. Not true, and especially not true for her, because fluorescent colors with barely readable text is NOT an attractive presentation. Eye-catching? Yes. But painful, too. so today in class while we were working on it, me and Jordan kept having to say "no" to the things Lindzy wanted to say. Because, as cool (and by cool I mean horrible tacky) as those things might have been, it had nothing to do with the presentation. And, while a fun little tangent would have been, well, fun, we are on a time limit and time does not permit.

In-class study time is starting for Chem, USH and AlgII. Which is nice, but not necessary, because those classes are so easy they make me cry.

Kacey is going to BLFAC this summer! Not in my cabin, though, or probably my unit (Escher isn't a unit, dear, its gonna be a cabin), but most likely for art! It's all good. I love having new people in my cabin and old people in the unit, cause you meet new people while keeping the old. Wasn't there a Girl Scout song like that? Yeah! "Make new friends/keep the old./ One is silver/and the others gold."

I finished reading my summer reading assignment novel! It was really good; I recommend it. It was Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott. Basically a simple, humorous guide to writing and the realities of being a writer with some little memoir-ic pieces woven in. I've already read Shooting Dad sometime last year, and the Voice Lesson packet will be a snap. Then there's just DJ's and a Universal Truth Memoir/Essay. This is probably my favorite summer assignment yet. <3

General Motors went under today. Everyone was depressed, and while nobody said a word about it, you could tell what was the problem. Pretty much all of the people who still had jobs just pretty much lost them; I can't imagine what this will do for Michigan's unemployment rate. D-Town is already at 22%. Its a little sad, but it needed to be done. GM needed to go under; they were a corrupt system that needed to be replaced. But I am furious at Obama for wasting all of that money on GM to get them out of the hole, because GM always held the intention of going bankrupt. So, all race and politics and beliefs aside, Obama has officially lost my vote for his reelection.

I'm thinking of cosplays for Youmacon. I'm thinking Tsukasa from .hack//SIGN, or San from Mononoke Hime. I'm leading for San, because it's a good beginner's cosplay, nice 'n' simple, but Tsukasa would definitely be more fun.

My mom gave me the sex talk on the way to my friend's commencement. The conversation went as follows: "Have you ever had sex before?" "I cant even manage a boyfriend, let alone getting laid." "Okay, just making sure. Remember to use condoms if you ever do have sex." Granted it was a little more in-depth then that, and was followed up by discussing the large amount of pregnant sophomores and how they should be able to get abortions, because I know that they want them. But it was just out of nowhere, in the car.

Anyways. Toni's commencement was really boring, and it was boring, but in so happy for her! She got her associate's in Social Work. Shes THE FIRST person in her family to do anything with her life but drugs and sex. Her brother's think shes certifiably insane. but I'm proud of her~ <3

Went shopping at ULTA/DSW/Somerset. It was fun. Sims 3 comes out on Tuesday! My dad's gone for the week. He went on a fishing trip to celebrate not having a job. It's odd, because unemployment isn't something that you usually celebrate. But he's already started looking for jobs in the south, mostly Alabama and Tennessee, which scares me, but makes me happy. I get the sick feeling that everyone will be a southern belle and I'm going to shoot myself with their obnoxiousness, but there would be no more long, hard winters! Yay!

Working on the Tori in the Forest picture, making good progress. progress here: pics.livejournal.com/xxlarku/

Been listening to Blaqk Audio for the bast few days. By God, I love Davey Havok. He's even better in Blaqk Audio then AFI; the electronic fits his voice better then Metal. And if you're going to give them a listen, diregaurd the song names. They nore or less have little to do with the lyrics. ((IE stiff kittens has nothing to do with stiff kittens, kittens or being stiff in any way that i can find.))